Against Our Nature, But The Ultimate Pleasure

MyLife Essay Contest

If you would ask a thousand people:

“What is something that you wish that you didn’t have to do, and you hate doing, but you do it anyway, because it is necessary?”

You would probably get some interesting answers.  One answer which you’d almost never hear is “nothing.”
As adults, we have accepted the fact that we have responsibilities, and that they must get done, whether or not we enjoy them.  However, some obligations seem to be completely contrary to our nature.  A person could say (and honestly mean) that, “There are jobs which I wasn’t ‘built’ to complete, and I don’t understand why I need to do something that is so against my nature.  So I’ll do it, but usually begrudgingly, often resentfully, and sometimes not at all. What can I do?  It’s against my nature.”

This essay will present an outline of a series of meditations based on a Chassidic discourse given by the Rebbe entitled “Arba’ah Rashei Shanim Heim” from 5731 (Sefer Hamaamarim Melukat ­ hei), which will help a person to understand the reason why many our the obligations seem to be contrary to our nature, and how they nevertheless can be a source of great joy.  It will then show how these meditations could be applied to a particular difficulty which nearly all of us face — controlling our eating habits.

1. Introduction: Mitzvohs = Responsibilites
The Mitzvot (Commandments) define our responsibilities to G­d (i.e. keeping Shabbat; eating kosher food), our selves (i.e. not taking unnecessary risks; eating healthy), and our fellow man (i.e. giving charity; honoring parents).
While the Mitzvot (given by G­d, who is the ultimate good) are a guide to living a good life and a conduit to receive G­d’s blessings, they are nevertheless commandments which we are obligated to fulfill.

2. Acknowledging and Understanding the Challenge.
In the Maamer (ch. 4 & 5), the Rebbe describes the reasons why keeping our obligations can be so difficult:

1. The purpose of Mitzvot is to refine a person. While becoming refined is a lofty achievement, it requires breaking one’s nature and removing entrenched habits.
2. Mitzvot must observed with a sense of obligation and servitude.  Even if one keeps his obligations, but does so only because he feels a love for G­d and a desire to give Him pleasure without a feeling of obligation, his service is lacking (see Tanya ch. 41)
3. We don’t see the results of our fulfillment of the Mitzvot, and this is by design.  If we would see the immediate benefit, it would be practically impossible to serve G­d out of a sense of obligation.  It would be as if a parent would tell a child “I want you to do me a favor just because I said so, but I’m also going to get a you a present as a reward.” It would be very difficult for the child to do it without being motivated (at least partially) by the reward.

From this we see that living up to our responsibilities is truly impossible without going against our very nature.

3. Two Realities
Chassidus explains that there’s a reality that we can see, and a deeper reality that we don’t. The former is the world which we perceive, where every individual has its own identity and every person his or her own desires.  If we contemplate the marvels of our world, we can intellectually “see” that the world has a Director who governs it and has instructed us how He wants us to live; but the world and especially the people living in it don’t by nature follow G­d’s plan.
The deeper reality is that the world that we see as separate and fragmented is actually unified and united with the Creator.  He doesn’t only create the world, He is the world.  Anything that exists is not only because of Him, it’s in Him.

4. Escaping the Challenges and Connecting with the Source
In order to experience joy in serving G­d against our nature, we must first attach to the higher reality mentioned above.  This is accomplished by studying Torah so intensely that you live in the world of the Torah’s ideas and lessons, which in turn provide the person with  happiness and inspiration (ch. 5).  Torah has this power because Torah is, in its essence, G­d’s source of enjoyment, and when a person studies Torah and it becomes his or her ultimate joy, he unites with G­d’s deepest pleasure.  It goes without saying he won’t be bothered by the problems which he encounters in the lower reality.

[aside] The difficulty of servitude is tempered by the elation of unity. [/aside]

5. Integration
The goal is not to live a dual life — on one hand to struggle to break ourselves to align our individuality with the will of G­d (Mitzvot) and then to cleave to Him through Torah study, but rather to integrate the two.  This is possible because the Mitzvot themselves come from the Torah and contain within their essence G­d’s joy which is in the Torah.  A person therefore, when he or she is fulfilling obligations, which in itself entails breaking one’s nature, he at the same time connects to G­d’s pleasure in the Mitzvohs. (ch. 7­8)  By doing so, a person’s own frustration with their having to do things that they don’t want to do, doesn’t contradict his feeling of joy (G­d’s joy) that he’s causing by obeying His commandments.  The difficulty of servitude is tempered by the elation of unity.  To say it in other words, when he’s celebrating the master’s joy, the servant’s work feels like play. (ch. 9)

Applied Chassidus

Controlling one’s appetite and eating healthy food are challenges for most of us, and a source of frustration and stress for people of all backgrounds, ages, and socio­economic status.
Scientists (such as Steven Witherly) also ask why we are biologically more attracted to foods which could give us health problems, and why our nature is to eat much more than our doctors would recommend.  The answers they give don’t give any advice or strategy to control the problem, and could lead to a sense of despondency if someone believes that factors which led to survival for millions of years are now leading to extreme health problems.

The plan outlined above, using Chassidic meditations to change one’s perspective about difficult challenges, while it will not necessarily lead to weight loss, it will go a very long way to combat the stress and frustration about having a stomach that tells me to eat cake, and a doctor who tells me to eat celery.
The five steps outlined above applied to controlling appetite:

1. 1. Recognize that eating to be healthy is a Mitzvah, as explained by the Rambam (Hilchot De’ot ch. 4)
   2. Eating healthy was designed to be difficult for me.
   3. It will make me refined, but it entails breaking my natural desires and inclinations.
   4. I have to eat healthy not only because I want to ­ but because it’s an obligation.  It’s a way in which I serve G­d.
   5. I won’t see the results — of the Mitzvah —  right away.  (Hopefully I’ll see the results of the diet quickly!)
   6. There’s a higher reality in which the entire world (myself included) is unified with G­d and  everything is good.  Still, the world I perceive is also real, and my choices matter.
   7. When I study Torah, especially when I really get into it, I unite with G­d’s deepest joy. All my problems (seem to) disappear.
   8. When I control my appetite I likewise connect to and elicit G­d’s joy.  The very moment that I break my nature and control my urges, I’m generating happiness for my Creator. This joy supersedes my own pain and provides me with motivation to continue to strive.

Through experiencing G­d’s satisfaction which we cause through fulfilling our obligations, especially when we have to go against our nature, we garner the strength and willpower to surpass our limitations.  Similarly, studying Chassidus, though it discusses the deepest concepts of spirituality and G­dliness, gives us the ability to make real, practical, and meaningful improvements in our lives, and the tools to help ourselves and others to overcome life’s challenges.

It’s a great gift which has been revealed by G­d, through our Rebbeim.

Bio:

Zvi Lipchik grew up in Brookline, MA and attended public school.   Attending college in New Orleans, he met the shluchim, Rabbi Rivkin and Dovid Kaufmann who urged him to go to the Ivy League Torah Study Program and then to Hadar Hatorah after he graduated. He then married his wife, Miriam, and they currently have 5 children.  He is the director of Gan Yisroel of Crown Heights day camp and work in Yeshivas Chok L’Yisroel, Chovevei Torah, and Touro College.