How To Cope When Life Throws The Unexpected At You

MyLife Essay Contest Finalist

The Chassidic Perspective on Belief in and Acceptance of G-d and All that Comes from Him.

“I am frightened, and unable to handle all of the painful facts.  Why is this happening to me? How can I make it stop?

When a person experiences a hardship, when they are in a critical situation, when they are at a loss how to continue, when the ‘WHY?’ and ‘HOW can it be?’ are thundering questions in their life. It is at this time of loss that they can seek out and accept the simple answer. G-d is the one who created them and scripted their entire life. Hashem chose this particularly for that individual; this is not random; this is not a mistake. This knowledge can give the inner strength to rise above, no matter the depth of the challenge.  The situation they find themselves in can become the impetus for a deeper relationship with Hashem.
The concept of Divine providence is central to Chasidic philosophy, but it is in challenging circumstances that the words of Tanya give tremendous encouragement and perspective on how to face the situation.

Chapter 26 of Tanya addresses different forms of depressions. It cites a situation where a person is experiencing true hardship. The Tanya explains: The good and the bad come from G-d equally. However, there is the G-dly light that shines in a direct manner, and it is experienced as manifest good and benefit. There is a higher level of G-dly energy that cannot be expressed, and seems to bring about negative events in a person’s life. One who knows that his difficult experience truly originates from a very deep place in G-d will be happy and fortunate to be close to G-d. An example to illustrate: There are two siblings; the younger child receives pocket money from her parents, while the older sibling is not given anything and is expected to earn her pocket money alone. She can remain resentful and sulk, yet if she realizes that her parents intentionally withheld money only so that she should have the opportunity to develop life-skills , she will feel appreciative that they made a wiser choice for her and happy as she accomplishes what they intended her to do.

We may understand why one should be happy, however how can one put aside their natural desire to live a pleasant life? How can one not grieve the loss? How can one accept the bad with the same equanimity as the good?

[aside] How can one accept the bad with the same equanimity as the good? [/aside]

In Chapter 11 of Igeres Hakodesh, Tanya, the Alter Rebbe explains in more depth the following points:

• G-d is present at every moment and every place and chooses what will happen.
• The world is not sustained by G-d as a preexisting entity, but is recreated anew at this given moment.
• When G-d creates, he is creating directly from himself. This is in contrast to human experience. For example, when one bakes a cake, her or she takes some ingredients and mix them together. This is merely a change by cause and effect: B is brought about through A. In contrast, G-d is not using any previous ingredients, he is creating through his wisdom alone.
• G-d’s wisdom is wonderful! This wisdom is the source of the proverbial Garden of Eden, where the soul experiences bliss. This is the source for life and happiness
• Therefore everything is absolutely good, and when we truly believe this, it becomes good, even on a revealed level!

We need to reframe our thinking. G-d is giving from the source of goodness and delight, only it is not yet revealed for the good that it is. Every moment in time is deliberately chosen, even those very tough moments. It is here that our faith is being tested. Is our belief in G-d real? G-d gave us these challenges so we should overcome them and choose to serve Him.

How can we apply these concepts in our life?

Accepting that this reality was part of the master plan, instead of following the urge to fight it or run away from the difficulties that it may bring. It’s ok to be here, because G-d put us here. Some of it can be worked through and some of it may be beyond us, yet this is where we are supposed to be. It may be easier to blame a situation or person, or rage at the circumstance but that won’t resolve the issue. Knowing that our reality is given from G-d softens the blow: We are in good hands and know that this is good.
This is the initial step to any solution.

Let us learn from the Jewish people upon exodus from Egypt. Trapped by the ocean in front of them and the Egyptian army chasing after them, what could they do?
The people panicked. Some wanted to give up and return to being slaves of the Egyptians. Another group wanted to spiritualize the problem, and pray to G-d where decisive action was needed. A faction wanted to fight the Egyptians while they were clearly not equipped for battle. Many wanted to jump in the sea and die, to escape the pain of slavery. But one brave man forged ahead. He was following wherever G-d would lead him. He walked step by step into the waters, and when he could not go any further, G-d split the sea.

[aside] Thank G-d as much as possible; finding reasons to be grateful. [/aside]

When one place themselves in G-d’s care, that’s where their journey begins.
These are suggestions of ways to place our trust in G-d’s care:

• During Prayer in the morning, meditate; take a moment to give oneself over completely to G-d, and feel taken care of by G-d.
• Reread Tanya chapters 11 and 26 and related material and reflect on their message
• Verbalize “Everything is absolutely good” and “Everything is directed by G-d” as much as possible.
• Thank G-d as much as possible; finding reasons to be grateful.
• Accept moments of pain; submit them to G-d.
• When feeling challenged, ask G-d for assistance.
• Get involved with something else in order to detach from the negative issue.
• Take time to write, draw, or do something expressive to develop feelings and internalize these concepts into their life.

We may see miracles in our every day .Challenges might still be here but we walk with G-d.

Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov, in his defense of the Jewish People said, “The truth of Torah is found in the books, and the persuasions of the evil inclinations are out in the street! If so, how can you, G-d, expect one to find the truth?” When one reads the Tanya, its expectations seem intimidating. The book seems so perfect, so holy, how can I actualize its writings?  But it is here to empower us— imperfect people in an imperfect world. Let us take the wisdom off that high shelf in the bookcase and allow it to truly enter us.