The Power Of Speech

MyLife Essay Contest

The Importance of the Power of Speech in Everyday Life in the Light of Chabad Chassidus

Man was gifted with the power of speech. For many it seems to be a relatively insignificant tool bestowed within us. After all, speech itself has no content besides for what it brings out from the mind or the heart, whilst the mind and heart themselves can function quite nicely on their own without the need to express themselves in speech. The power of speech is explained in depth and at length in Chassidic philosophy, being a very deep concept and used in the metaphorical sense to explain G-d’s relationship to the world and other deep philosophical ideas. Surely, however, the concept can be applied to everyday life, in a very real and down to earth way.

The question is, is the power of speech really that important? How much does it really add to our existence? Allow me to bring forth a few real life scenarios:

I know of a boy that is currently studying in a yeshiva. From a very young age this boy was always very smart and intelligent, and studied hard achieving good grades. Truth be told, he wasn’t so bad off socially either, and had more than enough friends to feel totally satisfied. As he grew up and entered yeshiva, he also started to mature like the rest of his peers. A few years into his yeshiva life, he started realizing that something was a bit off in his social life. He knew what the problem involved, but still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that it was a real problem. Unlike his friends, he was more on the quiet side. Now don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of boys who were of quiet nature, who spoke and expressed themselves much less than he did, however their quietness came from a completely different source than his. Whilst they were quiet by nature and therefore their level of speaking and communicating were in fact not considered quiet at all in comparison to their personalities, his was more of a forced quietness that came as a result of a simple philosophical conclusion. His conclusion was that speaking and expressing oneself was a total waste of time. He thought: isn’t it preferred to be oneself just the way one’s personality shines without the need to actively express ones thoughts and feelings? Shouldn’t people accept others and like them for who they are and how they are, in a truthful and unsuperficial way? Can’t one size up a person from looking and analyzing from afar, without actively speaking to him? He didn’t feel there was a need to be open with friends, rather better to be closed up and not have to be dependent on how he spoke to be accepted socially. But although this all made sense to him, he couldn’t deny the fact that all the others didn’t really seem to agree to it. They all seemed to have nice and healthy relationships, while he felt some sort of lacking in his social life. “Could it be that I am wrong,” he constantly debated, “Is there something that I am missing or misunderstanding in the whole idea.” He was constantly in an indecisive state, a war between what he thought was true and what he saw to be reality.

I know also of a young man, recently married, who for the first few years of his married life decided to utilize them for extensive learning in an academy for young adults, where he was to get paid a small, monthly salary. Right from the start he decided to learn on his own, and indeed, every day he would come, sit down alone, and delve into the material with fortitude and enthusiasm. He noticed, however, that all the other young men who studied in the study hall, sat and learned (by the look of it – intentionally) with their traditional Chavruta (study partner). He, on the other hand, was certain that his choice to learn alone was a good one. After all, with all the responsibilities that come with learning with a study partner it just wasn’t worth it. No two minds work or think alike, and each person learns at his own pace and in his own style. He felt that it wasn’t worth taking on the responsibility, to make sure that his study partner understood the material on his level when he had himself to think about too. Wouldn’t it be better if each person would just take his own books and advance within the texts at the depth and pace that suited himself? Actually, he thought that the other young men were making a bad decision in specifically selecting study partners for themselves. It just wouldn’t work as well as his own study plan.

Day in and day out he would come to learn in the study hall, and whilst everyone else sat in pairs, he sat alone and studied quietly to himself. After about a few months he started to realize something very strange. Contrary to his conclusion, the other young men seemed to be more advanced in the material and knew it more thoroughly than he! “How can that be?,” he thought to himself. “Where did I go wrong?”

I also know a woman, married with five wonderful children. In truth she wasn’t as reserved by nature as she appeared to be, but she just didn’t feel such a strong need to express her thoughts, fears, and especially her love to her family. After all, they knew her best of all — she was their wife and mother. So close were they to her heart, and she to theirs, that external expressions of speech seemed to be too dull, and even awkward to express. Did she really need to express her love to her kids every two minutes like those seemingly over protective mothers seemed to do? She felt that her kids were self-confident and mature enough that they didn’t need all that. Besides, didn’t she express her love to them in so many ways other than actually spelling it out in words? Her kids know good and well that she loves them to the very core of her being, and anyways she didn’t see any lack in her family’s relationship with her. Sometimes, however, she would have a teasing small thought enter her mind, that maybe she was wrong. Were her kids and husband suffering silently to a certain extent, due to her sure decision not to feel the need to express herself, her thoughts and her love to them? Maybe some things should be said aloud after all?

In reality, conclusions like these are made by people in all aspects of human life, both in seemingly insignificant situations and in major ones. Of course, however, these conclusions are wrong. Let’s see why:

In truth, Judaism doesn’t seem to think positively at all, of the value of speech. Sayings from our sages like “Emor Me’at Ve’asey Harbe” (talk little and do a lot) or “Syag l’chochma shtika” (protection to wisdom is silence) and the like, seem to imply that extensive talking, and even talking in general, is a somewhat negative trait.

It also emphasises the powerful harm evil speech can cause, so much so that Loshon Hara (evil talk) and the like, are regarded by Halacha (Jewish law) and Judaism in general, as some of the worst sins. Likewise the punishments outlined in the Torah (Pentateuch) for these sins, are of the worst kind.

However, everything in this world can be used for the good, and the power of speech is no different. Despite its powerful effect, and even because of it, speech can be the best tool to accomplish achievements that are otherwise seemingly out of reach. In order to understand this, let us take a closer look at the makeup of the human being’s internal emotional and intellectual components.

The human being is the most advanced of all of G-d’s creations for many reasons, the highest seemingly being the intellect (but as we’ll soon see, the power of speech supersedes it by far). It is taken so far, that we are even taught, that the human being has major and unparalleled advantages over even the spiritual beings, for example the angels.

Now, we all have within us two parts that could be categorized, in general terms as:

1. “Inside-the-box”
2. “Outside-the-box”.

The “inside-the-box” part of a person consists of his / her personality and characteristics that are more (although totally internal) externally inclined. The conscious self of the emotions and thoughts, that are expressed within the person on a revealed level. Take for example a fear of the dark, a love toward a certain individual, a deep idea that took hours to comprehend, or even a passing thought about the weather. All these are part of the great internal human emotional and intellectual system, the conscious “you” that’s constantly at work churning up emotions and thoughts throughout the day. This is the “me” in every one of us that those who wouldn’t know to dig deeper, would encounter at first glance, and may think is our very essence – our true personality.

Let us move onto the “outside-of-the-box” part of the human. Now when I say “outside-the-box”, I am borrowing a commonly used term from the expression “think outside the box”. However, thinking “outside-the-box”, as they call it, is definitely a within-the-box trait (in our context), for after all, it consists of thinking, and only differs from other types of thinking in the fact that it calls for a diversion from the normal thought process, to see the bigger picture. I am borrowing the term “outside-the-box” to describe the area within us that is not so commonly or easily seen at first glance. We call this the essence of the soul. This is a sub conscious area that in truth is actually the source and the producer of the other functions. In other words all thoughts and emotions stem from there. From time to time, when a situation arises, or one sees or hears something that touches one’s very core, the regular emotions, or even thoughts, take on an unpredicted appearance and one then realizes that he had within him are concealed powers that he hadn’t even known of beforehand. (I think it’s well known what I am referring to, and examples aren’t really necessary.) The above is triggered when the essence of the soul — the source for all these things and the place where the peak of their strengths lies dormant, waiting (so to speak) to emerge — is revealed.

Now, let’s bring the power of speech into the picture:

What is the power of speech? In truth speech is a very external power. Unlike the emotion or intellect, the speech’s job is to express that which is within, outward. Words have no value of their own; rather their whole existence is to express what the emotion or the mind has to say. Speech, then, is seen basically a solely external tool, used to reveal what would otherwise be concealed inside. It would seem that the power of speech doesn’t even fit into the “in-the-box” category, let alone “out-of-the-box”. Really, however, the exact opposite is true.

Take for example the mind, seemingly the most important function and peak of the human being. The mind is so great that it can even grasp ideas and concepts that contradict each other at the same time. It is so powerful that it can dig into an idea to unimaginable depth. When something is comprehended to its fullest, the person feels on top of the world. He can grasp anything, and everything is within reach. One might be mistaken and think that the intellect is the most objective thing we possess. But is it really? We already established that the mind is a component of “inside-the-box”. One might certainly deem himself objective while in possession of an open mind, however the truth is, no matter how objective he might consider himself, the conclusion that he made or the idea that he produced, is still his mind and his mind only! Without a doubt a second person will reach different conclusions, and yet a third will have a completely different opinion from the first two. The mind is definitely not the epitome of objectiveness at all.

The power of speech on the other hand, is quite the opposite. Speaking is communication. The power to connect and communicate with other human beings is so powerful, that no other human tool can compare to it. The ability to connect and communicate is the most objective (so to speak) thing one can have. It is real “outside-the-box”.

Take for example the smart phone. In today’s day and age, the smart phone is essentially a computer, office, library, watch and much more all wrapped into one small device. One can keep notes, access the internet, look up exchange rates and a whole lot more from that small electronic device in his hand. The bottom line is, however, that the most central, and indeed the very core, function of the smart phone is the ability to call another phone. All the great things that the smart phone can service for you, however great and useful they are fall into one category – namely, the ability for the device to operate within itself. The calling feature however, falls into a completely different category all together. It is where the device goes beyond itself, connecting to the other phone through the airwaves of the world. In that sense, no other program or function can ever compare to it.

We humans are the exact same thing. However high a person can reach, even in intellect and understanding, it can’t compare to the heights one can achieve through speech — communication with one’s fellow human beings. Speech (communication) is what makes our world run. Without it there would be seven billion mini worlds, each one relying on his own intellect to guide it, clashing against each other with no synchronized standards to harmonize them into one big working system. Through speech one enters a new world within oneself, an area “outside-the-box”, a world of openness and objectiveness to the highest degree. Now that’s (as we mentioned before) real “outside-the-box”!

The power of speech is actually something that is directly connected to the essence of the soul for they are both components of the “outside-the-box category. Therefore, when one speaks his thoughts or feelings, the essence of those thoughts or feelings come out. One’s “inside-the-box” is lifted to a whole new level — the real objective “you”. It’s lifted to an area beyond its regular limited and restricted self, an area where its true essence shines.

This all, is the reason why in Rambam’s (Maimonides’) work and in Chassidic sources, we find that within the four general categories that include the creations of this physical world (inanimate objects – Domem, plants – Tzomeach, animals – Chai, and humans), we humans are dubbed the “Medaber” (speaker). For although we have many advantages over the other creations, the biggest advantage is the power of speech.

In the real life scenarios mentioned above, the characters were missing this basic knowledge. For one to say that he feels that he doesn’t need to be open with friends, and that he rather they accept him the way he is without any active external talk, may seem logical, however according to the conclusion above, it is precisely speaking that brings out the essence of the soul. The real personality within you and not the facade that we all have (in one way or the other), covering over our conscious “inside-the-box” selves.

Similarly, this idea is brought out in the traditional Chavruta (Torah study partner) idea. While educational institutions nowadays are struggling with the big question, of what is the best method of learning, traditional Judaism has always stayed faithful, throughout the ages, to the Chavruta method. Nothing can compare to people actively discussing the learning material together. The speaking brings out of one’s essence an understanding that was unreachable beforehand. Speaking brings out an understanding of true objectiveness.

This idea also applies to the concerned mother. One cannot argue that the natural love between her and her family is indeed deeply rooted within her, however one cannot compare alove that is expressed to one that is not. The power of speech would bring out her love to her family from the essence. A much greater and more powerful love than of that which rests “inside-the-box”, unexpressed and uncommunicative.

Of course, this also applies to all life situations. Whether one is speaking to one’s mashpia (mentor) or at a farbrengen (gathering of friends on special occasions for soul-to-soul talk), whether in relationships between parents and their children, teachers and their students, employers and their employees or between friends. Speech is one of the greatest gifts from G-d to man, and it is our duty to utilize it to the fullest. This is an area where every one of us can use improvement. Each and every one of us needs to ask him or herself, whether there are any areas in his or her life in which communication is weak – where we simply need to talk more. We must always remember that the power of speech can bring out the best within us.

So what are we waiting for, let’s start talking!

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Although the story lines, language and style are totally creations of the author, the concepts set forth in this essay are purely Chassidic concepts discussed at length throughout Chassidic works. The concept of Dibbur (speech) and its power to bring out the essence, is discussed at depth at length in the Chassidic work Ranat (by the fifth Chabad Rebbe- the Rebbe Rashab). The idea of the two categorizes and the true place of Dibbur within the soul is explained in a Sicha (written essay) by the Rebbe (Chelek vov, yitro 1). This essay merges the two ideas together. This concept is brought in many other places too. See for example Likutei Sichos chelek chof beis p. 67 or chelek chof zien p. 212(see also Mamorim samech aleph-Min Hameitzar and Rranat mentioned above, for examples of this same concept explained in kabbalistic terms-Malchus and Atzmus). The advantages of speech are brought out in other (although similar) points also, see for example Hayom Yom, Sivan 25.