Gratitude Attitude
Essays 2015
MyLife Essay Contest
Lucky Generation?
Every man today lives more opulently than an ancient king. We live in weatherized homes where scorching heat and howling winds remain outdoors. We eat fresh foods, refrigerated and frozen at the source and stored bacteria free. We have doctors wise in the body who can heal most ills. We have stores filled with multiple options and a wardrobe at our beck and call. We shower daily in water warmed just by turning a tap. We have conveniences early royalty can only dream of. Yet, in today’s lucky world, scandals and depression are rampant. The luckiest generation is truly miserable. Homes are bursting with technological advances, yet they want more. Deserve better. Need the next upgrade.
How did the world come to a point where fortunate people are no longer happy? Even more important, how can we get out of it? Chassidus, the secret handbook of how Hashem created the world, hands the key to those who wish to be freed from self-misery. The Previous Chabad Rebbe delivered a ground-breaking maamer1, Chassidic discourse, in which he dissects the core of discontentment. Replacing thoughts of entitlement with the concepts it teaches will lead those who truly wish for happiness.
The Entitled Man…
The entitled man is a miserable man. When he makes the account of his deeds and compares it with his lifestyle, G-d always comes up wanting. No matter how trivial his deed, in his eyes it was lifesaving. No matter how minute the effort, in his eyes it was laborious. In return, he only lives in a mediocre house while his stingy neighbor has a manicured lawn and mansion. He forgets that he, too, can act stingy. He forgets the times he didn’t help out or did it half heartedly. His self love covers his faults, exaggerates his qualities and leaves him feeling owed.
…In a Fur Coat
The fine-stitching on the jacket, high quality of the hat and monogrammed gloves showed money was not a problem. Yet, his tale of woe was precisely that. Due to his prominence and generous spirit, he undertook to marry off relatives and support the needy. Alas, the wheel of fortune turned, leaving his coffers bare and his promises wafting in the wind. Why, he wasn’t even asking for himself. All he needed was G-d to grant him the means to fulfill his word to those relying on it. With subdued sniffles, clenched fists and a reddening nose, the man completed his narrative. His downcast eyes faced his fur boots as his shoulders slightly shook.
The Alter Rebbe, the first Chabad spiritual leader, heard the man out. With a piercing gaze, he replied to his follower who stood seeking his blessing. “Of what you need, you have just told me. But what G-d needs you for, you have yet to speak.” Promptly, the man’s feet gave away and he was carried out in dead faint2.
Selfless needs are still needs. Validating giving still needs to feel validating. The most charitable and benevolent doers can still be off the mark. When many of these givers take stock they see what they lack. The score is in their favor.
Purposeful Contentment
Man was created by G-d for a purpose. Every human on earth has their specific mission of good to accomplish. When a person remembers why he exists, to make the world a better place, his meritorious actions are merely what are expected of him. He feels no entitlement in return; existing is reward enough. Food, shelter and family are all generous blessings bestowed by G-d. In His ultimate kindness, He gifted these physical bonuses. The man with this outlook is a lucky man indeed. Every breath is a gift; every meal is a present; every item is an extra treat. He is happy and fulfilled, for life owes him nothing but grants everything.
That is the distinction of viewing life as your due or as a gift.
Humbly Haughty
How do we get a mindset of gratitude?
In 1983, the Lubavitcher Rebbe sent an open letter to the public for the holiday of Passover3. In it, he gives the secret to gratefulness- humility. The Passover holiday is characterized by eight days of abstaining from chometz, leaven. Preparations for the holiday include scouring the house for chometz, searching for any remains and burning them before the holiday begins.
During Passover itself matza is eaten in place of bread. Why the frenzy of ridding the house from chometz for a mere eight days?
In Kabala, chometz represents pride, an inflated ego. The simple matza which had no time to rise signifies humility. When we rid our chometz to prepare for Passover, we also rid ourselves of our inflated sense of selves. We then spend an eight day holiday focusing on humility, being unassuming in our ways. If humbleness is a desirable trait, why do we only have an eight day holiday purge? Why don’t we free ourselves from chometz year round?
After spending eight days ridding ourselves of negative selfishness, we can have a constructive year of accomplishment. It is human nature to have a sense of self worth. With a foundation of humility, we can use our self worth in a positive way.
An Attitude of Gratitude
Taking the time to be humble will create a mindset of appreciation. A discontented person can replace his thoughts with positive meditations. Pondering how we humans are imperfect and only exist by the generosity of G-d should awaken a man to his senses. Further contemplation of how his deeds barely measure to his potential should make him grateful G-d granted what he already has4!
Imagine if the same talents, life position and good fortune were bestowed on another. How much more positivity would they spread in the world? How much more would they accomplish? I know I am a capable, talented individual- G-d created me that way. I need to use those abilities in His service. Am I giving it my all5?
Thoughts are powerful creators of reality. The message of Passover is to use cleansing thoughts to evaluate our self worth. When we approach life with true modesty, we can go forth and be successful for we made room for G-d to join.
Footnotes and Sources
1. Sefer Hamamorim 5710 page 237. (This maamor is based on a maamer from the second Chabad Rebbe: Mamorei Admur Hoemtzie Devorim vol 2, page 688)
2. Sefer Hamamorim 5708 page 191
3. Haggodah Shel Pesach vol. 2, page 740. This is the second public letter that year.