Facing Difficult Situations
Essays 2015
MyLife Essay Contest
Facing Difficult Situations
This essay is not lesson on how to face difficult situations, rather this is an observation of the mechanics of working through difficult situations.
When a person is born, they go about their life passionately. Questions have not yet engulfed their brain. They are free to be fully involved in every action they do.
At one point or another a person can lose that passion for life. The questions start, “Why am I alive?” “What is the meaning?” “Is there anything that I actually care about?” “Does anything matter at all?”
These two periods can actually occur at any point during one’s lifetime1. There are times when we feel passionately about what it is we are doing and there are those times when we are in state of confusion.
Impassioned and Confused – Tzaddik and Beinoni
These two modes are what is referred to in Tanya as Tzaddik – Reightous Person and Beinoni – an average person.
A Tzaddik feels only one passion in life and so there is never any confusion as to what their life is about.
A Beinoni may feel pulled in more than one direction. Because of conflicting passions, a beinoni is in a state of confusion as to what he/she really wants.
The Question of the Confused
What is most unsettling about being confused is that as children every person has had the experience of a deep passion for life. When we compare2 the “then (when we felt passionate)” and the “now (the confusion)” we become deeply disappointed in addition to being confused.
Our disappointment is in life itself. We are holding onto an idea of life which is no longer a reality. Our innocence has been lost and we have yet to come to terms.
Catch 22
What is the answer then?? How do we regain our innocence? Can we revert the clock and return to childhood?
The answer is yes and the way to do it is a bit of a catch 22.
Were a person to fully, and I stress, fully come to terms with the fact that hat they no longer feel the passion that they felt as a child, they would become free to engage in what their life has become with a passion. Although life is different, in terms of passions it is the same.
By giving up on returning to what was we are able to regain that which we really craved, we are able to have passion once again. Our life takes on a new meaning.
Chapter 27
The Alter Rebbe teaches us this method in the 27th chapter in Tanya where he writes that a Beinoni must accept that maybe he was created to struggle. The Alter Rebbe is not discouraging the Beinoni from ever ending the struggle, rather he is presenting the Beinoni with the key to overcoming it. By accepting that one is a beinoni (dual passions) one becomes able to throw themselves into their life with a passion which is in effect the tzaddik’s experience3.
Novel Ideas
One who is reading this essay may comment that this idea is far from novel. Any reading into eastern philosophy will teach you that by letting go and accepting a reality one will reach their zenith.
To this I answer that they are one hundred percent right.
If so, what then is so special about the chassidic approach?
The Obstacle
What prevents a person from letting go of a dream? What keeps a person holding onto an outdated reality?
It is a fear losing oneself.
A person thinks that the only true and meaningful existence is the one that they experienced. Being that they have yet to experience anything meaningful other that their previous experience, if they are to leave that state behind there is nothing meaningful they can conceive of that they will become. In one’s mind, if they leave that experience behind they will become nothing!
The Solution
The only way for a person to leave their previous state behind is if they feel so certain of their meaning in life that even if they will leave anything and everything behind their life will still have meaning.
This is impossible for a person to give to him/herself. This must be gifted to them from another.
There must be someone else who supports that person and assures them with a certainty to their meaning.
That assurance alone is enough to encourage a person to confront oneself.
Novel Reality
This is the novelty of Torah in general and Chassidus in particular. The language and content which they convey is one of absolute encouragement. In every word and every letter they insist that one’s life is always meaningful.
In chapter 27 of Tanya, the Aler Rebbe is not teaching an idea which a person should strive for. That would defeat it’s own purpose.
The Alter Rebbe in his simple and unassuming prose is guiding us to a state of existential certainty. He is stating with a certainty and authority that the state of being in a quandary is a meaningful one. One must not strive for perfection. One’s existence with its flaws is perfect.
The same applies to any area in the Torah. The way in which it is written is one which encourages a person to accept themselves for who they are.
Suggestion for Action
The Chabad Rebbe’s incessantly urged their followers to learn chassidus. This was for the above mentioned purpose, the mere reading of these carefully chosen words provide people with the existential certainty which enables them to accept their role and delve into it passionately.
My suggestion is therefore just an echo of their holy words. Please take advantage of this gift of encouragement and learn from the Torah. It will lead anyone to their greatest heights.
Footnotes and Sources
1. See Reshimas Shnayim Ochazin B’tallis
2. This comparison is made by the majority of people I have interviewed. References to “the good old days” and occurrences of nostalgia are common results of this phenomenon.
3. There is a correlation between two places is tanya which use the term “Kulei Hai V’Ulai”. In chapter 14 the AR uses it in reference to a persons quest for becoming a Tzaddik and in Ch. 32 he uses it in reference to encouraging a person to keep Torah and Mitzvos. Just as it is evident that the effective way of returning someone to T and M is by letting go the same is with the pursuit of being a tzaddik etc.